Godliness with contentment is great gain

2008-04-08T18:38:00.003+08:00

Met up with my college buddies the other day and we were just comparing our working lives since we graduated. I had mixed feelings about all that they shared. And I must admit that I do miss a tiny weeny bit of corporate life. Yes it's a rat race out there, stuffed with traffic jams, late nights in office, office politics, etc. but sometimes it feels good to engage in corporate talks, wearing that smarty suit of yours. Anyway, I told myself that I don't wanna grow old so quickly by joining the rat race. It's a blessing to be at home and indulge in my favourite past time. haha.. Among them is the privilege to catch up with my drama shows and reading. Girls...you must watch 'Emerald on the Roof'. Why? coz the main actor in there is super CHUNTED! And as the love story unveils, it's very touching when the couple can't be together due to various reasons. They sacrificed their love for commitments which their parents had made for them. Sad...sad...The series is coming to an end soon and the worst part is I already knew the ending. It's not the live-happily-everafter sort of ending. So tragic i tell you...

When you look at this pic, no need to eat for 3 days also no problem..

love

2008-04-06T22:12:00.004+08:00

To love is to forgive when that person who has wronged u does not really deserve it.

And not only to forgive, but repeat this act over and over again (according to the bible, it's 70 x 7 times) no matter how undeserving it seems.

It is an untiring act and grace poured out unceasingly.

Yes..that's what love means. It's a choice made, not based on emotions and feelings.

It's easier said than done. And I believe God has caused that disaster to happen so that I may catch a glimpse of how gracious our Lord Jesus is. How many times has He forgave me of my sins and wrongdoings...when I don't deserved it, I'm not even worthy to untie the thong of His sandal.

Yeah folks, don't worry about me. Even as I'm typing this, I've already forgiven that person. No, it's not my significant other who has caused the disaster, so don't bash him up yeah? Haha..

Thank you Lord for being so real to me and going through this with me. You taught me how to love, to forgive and to be more like You.

It's really amazing how God deals with your problems and your deep issues inside you. His approach is personal, subtle and tailored to you that no professional psychologist can beat Him! Yes, this is the God that I believe in-Mighty Counsellor and Prince of Peace who can contain your buckets of tears.

I crave for success and perfection. The competitiveness in me turns ugly into kiasu-ness which lurks in my heart. Sigh...It's hard to be broken down and eat the humble pie. But that's what God will do when you pray that dangerous prayer of Lord, mould me and shape me to be more like You. Yea, so be prepared when we pray for God to move in our lives. Though the admonishing part is painful it's worth it when you reach the finale of the race...So hang on people..God will carry us through.

argh!

2008-03-20T22:54:00.003+08:00

Argh! You're so small and insignificant, or at least that was how I thought about you before I lose you! Sigh..And I can't seem to function properly without you.

I guess that's why they gave me a duplicate of you..coz they know i'm bound to lose you one day. Sooner or later...

well..u readers may be wondering who i'm talking about. I'm talking about my stylus. Yes, I lost it. How could I right? Argh!

happee..

2008-03-04T23:35:00.002+08:00

The best way to cure your emo mood is to have some good retail therapy. Yes, it really did helped me. And I know why Aussie folks can buy up to 10 sandals in the shopping mall in KL at one go..tell me who can resist shoes that are on bargain? less than 30 bucks for a pair! and flats for less than 15! woo..come to think of it, I know why my old sandals started to give way at this point in time..it's to be replaced by new ones..lol...
But I do feel guilty after buying two pairs in less than one hour...

overly sensitive, no?

2008-02-15T00:33:00.004+08:00

I seem to be overly sensitive...by what?....by just one message?

Oh gosh..I can't believe I'm blogging about it even right now.

You know it's pretty frustrating yet amusing when someone send that will-u-be-my-valentine sort of message? I mean, come on, if you have the guts, why can't you just be bold and not be ashamed to tell me? Whether my answer is yes or no, at least you've done your part, right? Haha..the more I think about it, the stupider it feels. Oh well, nevermind. If it's not meant to be, it won't, right?

still contemplating how to reply that message..haha...should I reply with a hint of dry humour or just delete it???? Or probably I'm just over-sensitive....Argh..whatever..

my cuz...

2008-02-12T18:44:00.000+08:00

yeah..meet them..my pretty cousins..who have tiny weeny eyes just like me :)

finally...

2008-02-12T18:25:00.000+08:00

As promised...the pics from Seremban.

We had a really great time catching up with one another and laughing our heads off over silly A- level's jokes. All of us agree that A-levels was the best times we had growing up. So to those students who are dreading your A-levels, do appreciate it. Yes it may be stressful at times, but it's all worthwhile when you look back in 3 -5 years to come. You'll never have friends as silly and caring as those you made during A-levels. They'll be the ones whom you'll cling on in times of trouble. Of course they'll be the ones who'll laugh with you and share your joy as well. Anyway, i shan't reminisce too much of it now. Let the pics do the talking...oh yeah..and spot the differences between these ones and the ones taken during previous years'.Haha..

the colourful gang

ok...this is like the 5th attempt of our family photo. due to the ancient camera.haha..

Forever young...

2008-02-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

Yes, we'll be forever young...After all the planning gone to it, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we'll be able to make it a blast tomorrow! And this time around, we've Terung with us...Will let you judge for yourself whether we've changed over the years..next post will be the 2008 version..

us during 2006....

us during 2007....(Song Ai, you're missing here...)

Hmm...i don't think our looks ever changed...especially Au Yong..ur still so boyish! Me, still same old same old..nothing so radical, straight hair and fat cheeks...well, we'll see how much we've changed tomorrow...

Speechless

2008-01-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

What can I say when you've finally got what you've been desiring or longing for a long time?

NOTHING!

Just.....

*smile*

On reflections and others

2007-12-26T22:57:00.000+08:00

The year 2007 just flew past me without me realising.The happenings and events that were assumed and thought to be an agony in the beginning of 2007 had already TOOK PLACE! Can't imagine the grace of God which brought me through all those moments which seem to last forever. I wasn't quite looking forward to 2007 actually due to the many commitments which I forsee myself undertaking. Truly it's only by God's grace that I was able to accomplish all that I set out to do.

Firstly, the big thing was my violin exams. I didn't tell anyone about this, but I actually whispered to myself before the exam that I'm going full time in music if I pass it with distinction. Haha..couldn't believe it when it actually came true. And yep..I'm in music now. The whole process of exam wasn't easy. Indeed now that I look back, I'm amazed by how I managed to juggle my time between music practice and college studies. The very fact that my college exam was just one week before my violin exam really scared me. Not to mention that my cousin's wedding was also on the same week of my exams. Well, the preparations which went into it was horrendous as I was the bridesmaid. Again..yeah again..I was the bridesmaid again. Some people said a girl can't be bridesmaid for more than 3 times lest she wouldn't be able to get married. Yeah..I'm superstitious to a certain extent. Sigh...

Secondly, the internship! Yeah..it was a big thing for me as it was something I really needed to go through to decide for my career. God really helped me and blessed me with the opportunity to work with one of the finest firm in the world. He enabled me to broaden my horizons and opened my eyes to have a glimpse of what it's like in the seemingly "perfect" working environment. Now I know what's best in the eyes of the world may not be so after you've been in it. However, really thank God for holding my hand through the internship. It was really tough having to miss youth meetings/worship practice on Saturdays due to teaching. It's over...

Thirdly, having to decide about my career. The story is too long to be written here. Anyway..it's been decided and I pray to God that there'll be no turning back..no turning back..no matter how attractive the pay may be...I will hold on to my first love. I will..

O MY!

2007-12-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

The most awful state one has to face is: facing a situation and so helpless and watching yourself drowning to death. That was what happened yesterday in the exam hall. I knew I've studied that question. Almost EXACTLY THE SAME WITH TUTORIAL! Damn it! I thought I knew what to do...but when i started writing, I just didn't know which figures to include! Argh! I started to panic. Nvm..then I continued on that question despite the uncertainty when coming to that part. After coming to terms that I REALLY FORGOT HOW TO DO, HOW SILLY I AM, I decided to canceled out that question and moved on to others which I wasn't too sure. And DENG! the exact same thing happened again! Again! And I could feel my head literally spinning and hands shivering already as I couldn't see the words on the paper properly. Sigh.. And walking out of the exam hall, I started to break down. My eyes were welled up in tears and got even worse when one friend called up to comfort me. The more my friend tried to comfort me, the more I cried.

I just have to keep on hoping and praying that everything will turn out well in Feb. Pls God....

True colours

2007-12-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

You are able to see a person's true colours when the tough gets going and you need their help the most. Usually they are the people whom you thought were the closest people in your life. But sadly, when I appeared to be slightly inconvenient to them, they just wished they could disappear from your presence, not having to attend to your needs. That's exactly how they reacted. Oh well...life's unfair and this statement is sinking in deeper and deeper each and everyday. I agree this is something we are not made to acknowledge in school and academic life. Sigh...Sheena..this is the real world.

And hence, my mood is sorta depressed today. Gone through so many things and I'm so tired and sick of it. And worst thing is i've to study for my upcoming exam. God help me...So not the time to be emo..

However, on a more joyful note, it's really great to know that someone(besides God) really cherish and cares for you. A person who goes to great length to please you and accepts the way just as you are. Even if that person is left with 1 dollar in the pocket, it'll be reserved for you. Hmm...that really brightened my day.

Ok ok..I shall stop ranting now lest I make you depress reading about realities of life. Getting back to books...

No fear at all?!?

2007-12-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

Finally a good pic of three of us...

Spot the X'mas tree behind? so Christmas-y mood.Note our colour coordination..

Absolutely bored from lectures

Huh? less than two weeks to exams and we're still so crazy? No fear and no pressure of exams?!? Is it a good sign or not? Haha..siau in camwhoring today, since it's like our 2nd last day of lectures in college.

Posers...

2007-12-04T21:31:00.001+08:00

Posers we are...dekat fitting room pun nak ambil gambar...sigh..

Guess what they were trying to do to me...forcing me to show my #####haha..

Thank you

2007-12-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

Thank you girls...You gals really make me smile and laugh...My mundane college life is brightened up by you. Each of you possess unique personalities which makes me feel in awe with God's creation. College life was never usual because of you guys. And I'm just beginning to feel the impact now that we only have less than a week together. It seems like our friendships have just started to blossom and yet we've to part ways. Some of you getting married and having kids (makes me feel old), some of you getting all ready for the working life, and some of you are as clueless to life just like me. Sigh...

Happy...

2007-11-30T20:36:00.000+08:00

I don't deny the fact that some physical things on earth have abilities to make me smile...Perhaps they're God sent...
I was feeling so so down with my flu which has been bugging me for more than a week now (and is still bugging me). And when my lecturer announced the cancelation of extra class this afternoon, my cheeky bunch of friends as usual quickly came up with a to-do-list. As usual, being the the only one who's driving, we were spoilt for choices. From bowling to karaoke, they were pretty indecisive. In the end we ended up in The Curve (one of my hot spots these two months).
So these are the things which made me smile:

French Toast from Kim Gary (yum!)

shopping...(no,those are not my legs nor my friends')
yeah..we went crazy shopping even though the Year End Sales were like one day later. haha..siau girls laughing like hyenas in the fitting room..will post up pics soon..

Without you...

2007-11-24T22:49:00.000+08:00

All this while

I took for granted of you

I never knew how important

you are to me

until I've lost you

Without you

My whole world collapsed

I felt like I couldn't breathe

I couldn't sit nor stand still

B'coz you were not by my side

All I wanna do was

SCREAM!

No matter how

unfashionable you look or sound

I'll still love you

For you are irreplaceable

without you I'm speechless

For those of you out there who may be wondering who's my new found love, it's my phone that I'm talking about. haha...

My ever faithful phone (though the battery seems to fail me nowadays)

Sorry, I couldn't resist it

2007-11-19T18:04:00.000+08:00

Thank you for helping me to suppress my urge for ice cream yesterday. You helped me fight my temptations for comfort food when I was impulsive and at the most stressful period. But I'm sorry to say I've disappointed you by indulging in this for my end-of-assignments-celebration.

Apple crumble cheese cake

Sob sob...I will do a better job in self control the next time around...promise promise..But then again..Wednesday we're going out again for another round of celebration...*grinds teeth* How?

Ramblings

2007-11-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

Argh....the brim of assignments are getting me nuts! So much to do yet so little time left. Yeah..people who are reading this will be critisizing me, why blog when I'm so busy. But .. but.. but...I just need an outlet or an avenue to ramble and blah all I want. How I wish it's already X'mas now and I can sleep all I want. Note that my priority is sleep..That shows how much sleep I'm deprived of. There's a huge sum of sleep debt I need to pay off. Then next comes the tread-mill...sigh....have not been practising self control over my indulgence on sweet treats during times of stress.One minute on the lips forever on my hips.How true man..Hmmph! Cannot...must start dieting ady..if not tak muat lagi in all my baju...argh!

Ok...back to work. I've to finish at least 1200 words tonight. Die moh? And it's already 11pm. Another sleepless night...sigh...

Bete noire

2007-11-09T16:16:00.000+08:00

FE 3027 Assignment 1

FE 3034 Assignment 1

They are my bete noires for now. Because of these, I've to sacrifice my play time...sob sob...

Yes I know I sound like a kid who whines when he/she doesn't get to play in the park in the evening.

bleh~

2007-11-06T22:45:00.000+08:00

Unmotivated, wanton, lazy, bleh ~

that's how I feel right now. So much of work yet so lazy to start. On top of that, I've to fall sick today and felt like a waste of time sleeping away the whole morning! Somebody please slap me before it's too late!

What I crave for now...

2007-11-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

This is what I crave for now...

So tired from assignments and worst still, I've to recover from my trip. Argh..what a time to go for a holiday.

Yes..I can't wait for the 20th of Nov...Am crossing my fingers that we'll go there again...

Revived

2007-10-30T22:52:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a year since I last blogged. It has been so long that I needed to go through the whole 'claim-your-blogger-back' procedure at blogger before I could start typing now. Yes...It has been that long. Sigh..you would surely ask me, why I suddenly felt the urge to blog. Well, no particular reason, really. Probably i'm inspired by some blogs which I've been patronizing nowadays, motivated by the fact that it's my last lap in college and I wanna capture all these memorable moments, etc...the list goes on...

Seems that after a year, the settings have not changed, not even a tad bit..

Where shall I start...

Ok probably I shall begin with some of my craze these days.

Firstly, food...and yes..food...I really have no idea how I caught on the craze on food. It is that bad till I have to control and ration my food. People who know me really well will probably concur with me that I used to be the one who was awefully cautious about how much and what I eat daily. Not anymore man...Talk about dieting for prom. It was so damn tiring and exhausting just at the thought of it. Man..it was unbelievable. I didn't believe that I did it. And I really did it..And come to think of it, it's all worth it. So much of effort gone into just that few hours of fame and glamour. It's my first ever prom which I attended. And it was so FUN! Gals, rock on! You're the ones who transformed the atmosphere and everything! I couldn't begin to comprehend how much our friendships have grown just at the span of one month. Really hope we can still continue to meet up after graduation for crazy makan and drinking sessions. Natalie, I will hunt you down for our next beer and wine drinking session. Ok enough enough enough..let the pictures do the talking..enjoy..

Jing Yao, Me and Natalie

me with gaya Pooi Mun

Satisfied after steamboat...

Praise God!

2006-09-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

I'm so bloated now after being fed with Secret Recipe's Ultimate Chocolate Indulgence(I think the name is correct). And I'm supposed to be on diet. Sigh...I wished Jane was there to help me eat that big serving of cake just now. I was obliged to eat that sinful slice of cake you know? (No, it's not that i don't appreciate food or what) So don't blame me or look at me funny when you see me with my extra kilos round the waist, face, hips or anywhere else.

Things that made(or still are making) me smile:

-Perfect college timetable which didn't clash with ANY of my teaching (first time!)

-Compliments from friends

-Superb results from one of my violin student who sat for her violin exam 2 months back. (she had a high distinction which left my jaw opened for several minutes)

All these wouldn't have happened without God's grace and blessings. I was just praying the other day that God would please show me the meaning of life. All sorts of Sunday School answers came to my mind. No! that's not what I wanted. I already know the doctrines and stories from others. But I've not experienced it myself. I only know how to SING 'God is Good, All the Time' but yet not experience it myself. I'm still searching but God has slowly showed me some things bit by bit. I guess you can't really define the meaning of life without experiencing it first hand. It's not about me, myself and I. Not how well I'd do on this Earth. It's what God has planned and in store for you. The thing that I've learnt so far is about coming back to the Creator. It's so vital to go back to your roots. Where you came from and etc. And it's even more heart warming to recognise that the person who created you is still alive and living! Not only that, He is beside you all the time. Pastor's sermons on Hebrews are so relevant and timely.

I hope I'm not saying all these because I'm in a happy mood. In the future when I'm going through rough patches, I hope I'm able to read this post again to remind myself of God's goodness and faithfulness. And what Uncle Nick shared last Saturday was also very relevant to all that I'm going through now. Truly, a person reaps what he sows. But somehow, I have this pessimistic feeling in me. Often in my life, good things and bad things come in batches. After the good things have past, the bad will follow. Oh well...sometimes you wished you could just make the clock stop ticking and freeze the moment.

reflection.....

2006-09-01T18:55:00.000+08:00

It's nice to read your own blogs sometimes. I did just that before typing this post. A sense of joy and also stupidity were felt. Joy because finally the events and things, which you thought were so scary and unbearable during those challenging times have actually came to pass (Thank God!). Stupid because you actually blog about such(petty and unimportant) things! Haha...oh well....I'm not sure how many of you bloggers who are reading this will nod with me in agreement.

My holidays are coming to an end. Come Tuesday I'm officially starting my last semester for 2nd year. The mere thoughts of having assignment deadlines and crazy teaching/studying schedules send shivers down my spine. I figured that's part of life, isn't it? Anyway, in a few months time when i'm able to look back, I'll thank God sighing with relief again. And the vicious cycle goes on and on.

Overnight prayer meeting was not too bad as what I thought. But the after effects were pretty terrible as it took me almost 2 days to recover from the lack of sleep. But I'm sure God was there to hear our petitions and prayers.

I was feeling so gloomy and depressed today that I went shopping again. Haha...recently I find joy going shopping alone. It's a relaxed experience as you do not need to worry about what your friends are gonna comment about what you're gonna purchase. I finally found what I wanted and needed all this while. And the best part of it was just right before the mega sales ended. I wish each and everyday there'll be mega sales going on and you can buy things on bargains. Believe me or not, I was looking for those items for like 3 months! So you could imagine how happy I was when I finally managed to get my hands on those items. Oh well, there's a season for everything. A season to save up and also a season to spend! haha.......

2006-08-22T14:22:00.000+08:00

Sigh....haven't been posting for such a long time for now....till the blogspot's homepage also shifted.
Holidays are coming to an end soon. 13 days left....
-Are not holidays a time to bum around?-
I don't know. It seems that I didn't accomplish much during these holidays. Sad huh....
the first part of it was spent busying with weddings. then the second was with my family trip.
the third..*forcing myself to think hard*.......it seems like I've done nothing but BUMMING AROUND! arghh.....
Another two weddings are coming up. All of them filled with excitement, nervousness and etc. Each and everytime i've to be in charged of something....It's not that I'm unwilling, but I long for one that I could just sit back and relax. No need to worry what sort of formal dresses to wear and accessories to adorn my body with. How nice if I could be men, who only need to worry what tie they need for their shirts. Sigh...no need for any accessories or hairdo. I admit it's kind of boring but at least they can sleep well at night without worrying about the outfit they're going to clothe themselves with for the next day.
This hassle of dressing myself up can be a chore sometimes. Though I admit I'm that type who dresses to perfection even for a usual day in college or church meeting. Sometimes I'm tired as well when I run out of ideas what to wear. I mean you could only impress others with X number of outfits. Oh well, it's only me who's causing so much trouble unto myself. See how much the media does to a person. The subtle influence has actually sucked into me without me knowing. It's hard to get out of it once you're in there. You can't go to college anymore with your loose t-shirts and torn jeans. Because you'll receive funny stares and comments from your peers. They'll be like:" are you alright? are you ill or something?" No...i can't turn back. I really can't.....I'll have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life...irk..sounds scary....

Is it that effective?

2006-07-31T20:44:00.000+08:00

It's amazing what retail therapy does to a person...well, at least to me....

*Smiling gleefully*

Thanks to the ongoing mega sales, there were some surprises here and there as I walked alone in Bukit Bintang this morning. The many items which I've been always wanting to buy were on SALE! (now i understand why Jules can end up 4 days in a week shopping in Bkt Bintang) And of course I never fail to pamper myself in times like these... Still a bit disappointed that the sandals and mini skirt I wanted have ran out of sizes. It was so CHEAP! Dirt cheap! RM14 something for a pair of flats in Vincci. Sigh...probably God wants me to save those money up for Him. Which is quite true when come to think of it...

But for now....just contented and happy with my new-buys :)

2006-07-29T12:14:00.000+08:00

Daddy God,

Sometimes I wonder why I am still doing what I'm doing when I feel so tired with it already. I'm tired of being the one so kiasu who wants to win everytime. But yet at the same time I don't wanna give in. I hate the feeling of losing. Probably that's part of me being a perfectionist. I really wanna adopt the don't-care attitude sometimes. Now, don't get me wrong...it doesn't mean i'm apathetic towards people when they are in need. Often the more I wanna care about something, it just hurts me deeper and deeper. Lord, why do I have to go through this? Is it because I'm the one who's problematic once more?

-Confused daughter of Yours-

of this and that........

2006-07-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

July is a month full of happenings. Full of surprises, shocks, fears and of course loads of first-time(s). As I look back, it seems really productive in that sense. So far the things that I've done in this month:

-met up with old school/college friends
-wisdom tooth surgery (indescribable kind of pain and I've one more to go :(
-family trip
-Serena's farewell (missing you loads)
-violin performances (bad bad experience due to some L-O-A people)
-shopping (yeah, finally)
-preparing and accompanying students for exams (man, I'm more nervous than the candidates!)
-loads of sleep in the morning after breakfast (weird nap times i know....)

Thank God I finally found a good book to read and I pray that I could really finish it fast this time around. I'm such a slow reader. You do not want to know what happens in between the pages.

Ok...you can feast on some pictures...let them tell the story.

Bryan and Serena 's farewell

Family trip in Bali

2006-07-23T21:03:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling:

-scared
-worried
-frustrated
-helpless

God help me........You know what my problems are and I know You are real and gonna answer me when I call.

2006-07-06T11:34:00.000+08:00

I can only say THANK YOU to my Daddy God!

God you rox!

Worship yesterday was just....one word....amazing. Not because I led well or anything. But it's all because of GOD! Only He could make everything fall into place. I know God you were there with us, listening to us sing unto you and even crying out to you. Daddy God, I pray that it will not just stop there. But we'll remember all that You've impressed upon our hearts. Somehow, it's just different when we're liberated by the Spirit to worship despite all the circumstances we've gone through in the day. Thank you Lord for helping me and blessing me in this way.

This is what I call STYLE.......

2006-07-06T00:38:00.000+08:00

This is what I call STYLE

Presenting to you......

*drum rolls please*

TADA! My dream shoes.....This is what Lois Lane wore in Superman Returns (not quite the same, but the shape is almost the same). Christmas present for me, anyone?

2006-07-05T19:00:00.000+08:00

BBK Prayer Meeting....

Ready or not, HERE I COME!

I'm scared to death as I'm worship leading later. Daddy God help me! All I ask is Your presence to fill the place later........and touch each and everyone's heart.

thumbs up!

2006-07-05T13:13:00.000+08:00

watched 2 shows in less than 5 days...hehe...man....it was a luxury.

In the cinema.....
Me: Eh what is Superman about ar?
Friend: Huh? you don't know meh? Deh..you didn't watch the series? It used to be...........blah blah blah..............actually i also don't know much(that was what the friend said in the end...lol)

(movie started)

Me: Eh..it's the same as Spiderman...They are the same lar hor?
Friend: Please....(lost for words by my out-datedness)

The movie was considerably good for first-timers like me. Quite retro in the beginning. Other than that, it was thumbs up for Brandon Routh. Amazingly how his hair can still stay nice and all after flying in the air. Afterall he's a Superman mar hor....Love his face, hair, body...aiyar everything lar. This is what I call MACHO! My type of man...Though you may claim that he wears his underwear outside. But hey....if I've a boyfriend who can take me on a "walk" flying in the air, i honestly don't mind. Kate Bosworth was super gorgeous in the movie, though there was a wee bit of resemblance of Norah Jones in some of the scenes. Love her shoes. Gurls, did you notice her shoes? They were....*lost for words*. Yah, you feel in the blanks. I've not seen those shoes selling on the shelves in shoe stores in Malaysia. Oh probably i've seen it once, but still they were not quite the same as those worn by her. Classy yet chic kind of feeling. *drool* Oh well, I know you'll be like: people watch movie you watch their outfit. Yeah...I'm one of those kind. Coming back to Superman, (wat superman? i'm still talking abt it right?) the ending was romantic, but predictable. But it's still comforting to know that Superman will always be around her. Nice to hear that from guys you know? *aww....* Once again, Superman displayed his macho-ness by saying those corny lines...(wait a minute, macho guys don't say corny & cheesy lines, do they?)

Next, it is Take The Lead! How romantic to dance rhumba, tango and waltz with a guy! You guys think ballroom dancing is boring? Then you gotta watch this movie or maybe start enrolling yourself in one of those classes. What Pierre Dulaine said in the movie is pretty true. By dancing, you not only express yourself, but it develops a healthy self esteem within you and trust with the other person. One gets cultured as well. On the other hand, this movie also gets your feet tapping, your body shaking when you see those students getting down on their feet and dancing hip-hop when they hear the contemporary numbers, such as rap and hip-hop music. Makes me wanna take up dancing again. Sigh..It's an unfulfilled dream still. Not helped by the fact that you see more and more of these flexible(i mean the dancers' bodies) people on MTV, Channel V and etc. Hope I can fulfill this dream before my bones start to crack and it'll then be literally called BREAKDANCE!

Penang trip

2006-06-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

Penang trip was great I would say though quite tiring. Most of it brought upon myself as I refused to sleep even my eyes kept closing on me during the two nights over there. The journey to Penang in the bus was fantabulous. Too bad no pictures taken for that. Sat at the last few rows in the bus with my super crazy Ah-Yi(s) and her children. While everyone was deep and soundly sleeping, we had junk food all the way up Penang and we even played Poker cards in the dark. Guess we were the noisiest lot in the whole bus.

Reached Penang around 10pm plus. I must admit the bus ride was really tiring coz my butt and back was crying out in pain by the time i got up from my seat. Then by the time I hit the pillow was 1.30am.
Next morning had to wake up around 5am as my cousin(the bride) and I have to go to the bridal house for make up and hair-do. I was so terrified when I saw myself in a bloated figure and panda-ish eyes in the mirror. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE BRIDESMAID!and I'm so not prepared physically.
The make-up didn't really look good on me. Don't know who to blame...either the make-up artist is not professional enough or I simply don't look good. My brows my eyebrows! They are partially gone! coz the makeup artist shaved it off....Sigh....it's over it's over...But NO! it's not over....I still have the bad memories when i look back at the pictures.

Don't have the pics with me yet...will load it asap.

The church was nicely decorated with flowers and others (lack of vocabulary to describe). Hope to get married one day in a church like that. Ancient church yet blended well with modern decor.

Night time came and we were all elegantly dressed up for the dinner. I spent almost an hour wearing make up for myself. Sigh...poor make-up skills. We were extremely late as we spent almost an hour plus looking for the restaurant. Still can't imagine we can get lost in a tiny island such as Penang. Not so tiny anymore come to think of it. On top of that, not much help was rendered by the host to reach the place as well. My stomach was growling like crazy and I really wanted to just get down the bus to reach for the hawker stalls for my o-jian.

Anyway, dinner was not that great and I ended up in a mamak at 1 am near the hotel where we put up. And what else happened after mamak? Snooze land? Of course not!

Went back to my cousins' room and started watching them gamble again. It was really fun just observing them and laughing with them. And the best part was squeezing 6 people in a room with only one queen size bed.

Sunday morning...

woke up really early as we were pushing off for KL already. Went to Penang town for breakfast. And of all things we had Dim Sum for breakfast in Penang. It was not really fantastic (of course not lah...not a specialty of Penang mah!)

Reached KL around 9 pm....and back to snoozeland..........

into the 18th day

2006-06-18T20:46:00.000+08:00

The following lines are commonly found in the conversations Sheena has been having since her school holidays have started.

A: so you're on holidays now....must be really stress-free la?

Me: (errr....well if you think handling music students for a performance is stress-free, i've no words to say)

B: so what have you been up to since the holidays started?

Me: (good question....don't wanna be reminded of my state of 'doing-nothingness', but actually i've been pretty busy come to think of it....18 minus 4 for church camp, minus 3 days of shopping for gowns, minus 1 movie day, minus 1 for wedding dinner, minus 5 more days of work, minus 1 for youth meeting, hmm so still quite productive considering i'd only had 3 full days of staying home relaxing)

People...don't get me wrong...I don't mean i hate answering these questions but life has still been busy for me as there are different things popping up each and everyday. Well, one thing I really enjoy is sleep. I've been trying to catch up with my sleep and naps. haha....the fun thing is getting up at an hour that you(or your body) desire. hehe...(I know a lot of u truly envies me) too bad...~~bleh~~

2006-06-05T21:00:00.000+08:00

Why is it that the grass is always greener on the other side? Is it really true? Is it always nicer to step on a greener patch of grass? These thoughts have been running in my mind for these past few days. It seems that what others have is always better and much better than mine. Why is it ever so unfair that they, they, they can have this this this and that, and not me? While all these thoughts were playing in my mind, God again had a way of speaking to me. Yesterday's sermon was on 'Covetousness' and how timely it is during this point of time. And what i'm feeling right now really contradicts with my blog page:Godliness with contentment is great gain. I really have to ask God to search my hearts....to see what are the 'treasured possessions' in my life. Have they replaced God's place in my heart? Sigh....I'm guilty. These are deep deep issues that have been plaguing my heart all this while. I really need to deal with it. Looks like this holidays will be a time of umm......hummm.........(if you didn't already know what that means, it means meditating) hahaha....

Thank you....

2006-05-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me yet another testimony to testify about your goodness. Thank you that I still have a story to tell. Indeed, you are a faithful God who never fail to provide for our needs. Your promises are ever so true.

With a gratitude heart,

.........................................

Truly, God will honour those who honour Him. It couldn't be truer when it really did happened to me. Last month, I chose to attend the overnight prayer meeting despite my assignment dateline right after that. I thank God that I've made the right choice. I managed to submit my assignment thinking to myself that I kind of screwed up the assignment due to the rush and the last minute work. But low and behold, when I got back my assignment results today....I was actually one of the few students who scored 90 and above. I was kind of taken aback by the results. Not only did I scored a first class, but it was above average...I've never expected anything beyond 70 or 75 as I don't usually do well in assignments. I actually hate them. But God gave me a pleasant surprise this time around. I can only thank God for that. Only He can do that for me....

Alas....

2006-05-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

Alas there's a break for me.....In 9 minutes' time, it'll be officially a public holiday-Wesak Day. I'm so tired emotionally and physically. Thank God for giving me a teaching break tomorrow. Don't know whether to thank God for not having to see those bunch of kids tomorrow. They can be a pain in the neck sometimes. But they are very adorable and lovely at times. They bring you loads of joy sometimes, especially their innocence and cheeky grins. You just can't help but ask yourself why you can't think as uncomplicated as them. One student asked me some very thought provoking questions, which I myself couldn't figure it out yet. She asked:

"Teacher, tell me quick, are you gonna be an accountant or musician in the future? Why don't you study music? Why do you study accounting? For what? Are you going to use it in the future?"

Sometimes, it's not that I don't wanna search for the answer to those questions. Perhaps I'm too afraid to find them. Probably I already knew the outcome. Probably I'm just too stubborn to face the obvious facts. Sigh....I'm so lost. On one hand, I dread teaching. But on the other hand, I obtain loads and heaps of satisfaction when I see them play as well as myself. I'm too fearful to face the day when I can't teach them anymore. Not because of anything, but due to the fact that I'm limited in my knowledge and abilities. It's like you are stucked in a maze but you know you should/ought to find a way out soon. How? How?

Recently I've been thinking about my career as well. It suddenly daunts on me that I'm completing my degree in one and a half year's time (provided I don't fail any subject). It's too soon and I'm not ready for anything out there. But I wanna get out of this assignment cycle every semester. It's so stressful as I hate assignments. I still hate them although I've completed 10 of them already. Probably it's due to the fact that I always get lousy marks for my assignments. AHH!(shouts and screams loudly)

I'm planning to do an internship next summer. I'm kind of looking forward to it. Though I know they treat interns like slaves and cheap labour. What to do?

But...but....but.....ARGH!

2006-05-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

How will you feel when your performance is being ruined by someone? You prepared so hard for it but the outcome is out of your control. And the worst thing is you are being remembered for all the mistakes that you've made. Sigh....I feel lousy, disappointed, angry and.....you fill in the blanks for me. I know I sound like I'm just blaming others for my bad performance as though I'm not wrong at all. But...But....But......ARGH!

What a "great" week....

2006-05-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

What a "great" week....I know i'm just being really pessimistic uttering statements like these. Afterall, it's only Wednesday night and I'm already concluding depressing statements. This week is horrendous.........I've an assignment due this Friday and I'm still pretty much stucked in it. To top it off, I've a terrifying performance in front of a bunch of professionals on Saturday. Not to mention the deadly morning session in church which sends shivers at the very thought of it. Sigh...I've to miss the footstool performance due to that performance. What a waste...And I'm really not motivated to go on the week as tomorrow and Friday are gonna be work again. I don't know why time flies and before I even manage to recover from work last week, I'm faced with another Thursday again. I've 12 students in a row, back to back. It's bad and sometimes I wished I've resigned from that school. I know I shouldn't be thinking that way. But i'm seriously not looking forward to any part of the teaching. I'm just ranting and complaining I know....but God says what? Do not complain....sigh....

Living in a REAL world

2006-04-28T06:08:00.000+08:00

How is it like to have heaven on earth? I also wanna know...To know Jesus personally as Lord and Saviour? I've done that....but the GIST of it is still to practise the agape love of Christ. I believe that's really hard. We can sing all we want and pray all we want about loving others like Christ does. Of course, it's easy to love others whom we agree with, who think like we do, who love us in return, or at least like us, etc. But what happen if someone treats you like crap? May you allow me to use this word, even though I know a person is worth more than crap. What happens when it suddenly dawns upon you that you shouldn't continue this unconditional love anymore, because they are not reciprocating your kindness, gentleness and whatever blah blah fishcake. That person(s) continue to treat you selfishly and it really gets on your nerves. The reality of the statment, 'The world is unfair' becomes truer and truer to you. Sigh...what to do? I can only pray and ask God to control my speech and emotions when I see them.

Life is......

2006-04-18T21:28:00.000+08:00

Life is:
-so sweet when you are being loved and accepted (whee! me likes!)
-much easier when you've someone to hold on to during the worst pitfalls you think you are in (aww....)
-fun and enjoyable when you've a bunch of friends who are as crazy as you (yipee!)
-full of surprises and uncertainties :(
-an adventure (agree? yes? no?)
-mundane and stressful for Sheena Wong on Thursdays and Fridays (yea, so don't get on my nerves during these two days)

I could come up with more 'life-is(s)' and this list is not exhaustive. Perhaps these things are closely related to what I'm going through right now. Hmm.....College life has been GOOD and exciting (minus the lectures and tutorials). Somehow the assignment mode has set in and I'm not feeling as stressful compared to the previous semesters. Probably the due dates are nicely spread out.
As expected, when my mood goes high and euphoric, I tend to feast on food! sigh...bad bad...
so now i'm on my diet stint and hopefully I can slim down a bit more for my cousin's wedding. Seems I'm only motivated to slim down if there're wedding ocassions. Hehe....that keeps me in shape...

Relationship works both ways......

2006-04-10T16:51:00.000+08:00

Relationship works both ways...To secure a relationship is indeed a mutual and reciprocal thing, just like it takes two hands to clap. Now, what happens when it's one sided sometimes or most of the time? Hmm....How would you feel?

Tired and worn out

2006-03-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

I'm tired and worn out emotionally. Don't ask me why....But I just feel that I'm lost in a jungle somewhere and struggling to find a way out. The trees and mountains which surround me are blocking my view and everywhere I look I see bushes. It's scary and the journey to the river seems like forever. I don't even know whether I'll find the stream before my survival comes to an end. I'm kind of lonely in the jungle though I'm blessed by the sound of birds' chirping in the morning. Life will be much easier when someone is there to hold your hand to look for a way out in this thick bushes.

Thanks to God that there's still a person called Jesus. What A Friend I Have In Jesus.....Jesus, a God who knows what I'm going through because He Himself has suffered it 1 million times more than I do. Lord, I pray that You will see me through in this and grant me Your loving grace to walk this journey of suffering.

MIA

2006-03-21T21:33:00.000+08:00

MIA-Missing in Action
Truly I've disappeared for quite some time now, well at least from blogging. Hmm....I've no idea how to sum up what I've gone through in the months of February and early part of March. I can only thank God for so many wonderful things which happened.

Firstly, wanna express my gratitude to all my family members, relatives and friends who made my 21st birthday so memorable and meaningful. Can I be 21 years old forever? I'll always cherish this birthday in my heart. The sms(es) alone were so heart warming and touching, not forgetting the many gifts and presents which I received. One word: Incredible!

Secondly, youth camp in was finally over. It was a total huge relief of burden for me. Was super busy for that and of course it turned out quite ok.

Thirdly, semester commenced already and I'm not quite happy with the current timetable. Just feel extremely worn out each and everyday i attend classes. I always feel that I'm ever so tired when i come back from college. And the worst thing is I don't understand any subjects that I'm currently studying. I don't know whether to blame it on the lecturers or me. But I think I'm the one who's lazy in reading up. I'm so lagging in my studies. On top of that, work is equally stressful as there are more and more commitments and responsibilities placed on my shoulders. I really hope to get out of it. But I've no choice. I'm sick and tired of work.

Fourthly(*are we there yet?), yes, this is gonna be the last entry. Just bear with me. I wanna say a big thank you to God for making everything possible on Ernie and Joanne's wedding. Thank God especially for the fine weather. Notice that it has been pouring like cats and dogs the following days after their wedding. I was also really busy for their wedding, partly helping out in some stuff. But I guess it was all worth it when I see their smiling faces. Hope this joyous occasion will always be treasured by them. Still haven't gotten any pics from the wedding. Will put it up when I've gotten hold of it.

Wedding prep..

2006-02-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

Wedding prep....ME? Me preparing for wedding? no no...don't get me wrong... I was just being a kei-po today, following Ernie and Joanne to the hotel to discuss about wedding preparation. I went there to have a look in order to have a rough idea of how the 'wedding march' gonna turn out. Feel a bit handicapped as there's no proper PA system to support my instruments.... Oh well... will work it out....

Other than that, didn't do much today. I'm tired and lazy to blog nowadays. Have some sort of feelings that my blog page will be closed down if I still won't update it...haha..

CNY update...

2006-02-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

Yeah, the title sounds so cliche and boring. CNY this year turned out to be quite ok and somewhat surprising to me. Didn't see any "dong dong chiang" (my version of lion dance) yet, but the usual things such as ang pau, food and visitation are on full blast. By now, I'm starting to feel a bit YUCK about food. Too much of something is no good, indeed. BINGEING----that was what I did in Taiping and Banting. Yaking and laughing were also some of the crazy things I did. (duh! of course!)

1st day of CNY:
Went to Taiping Baptist Church with my family. It was a Chinese service and my cousin preached. It was a good sermon but I pity the interpreter because he was struggling with the interpretation. Other than that, I got to experience yet another traditional form of worship with hymn books, benediction and blah blah blah....it was a lil' dull I would say, but the choice of songs were awesome!

2nd day of CNY:
Everyone in Wong Family was busy preparing themselves for the big family gathering. It was a gathering for all the three generations of Wong family. We had buffet lunch, crazy games and there was also a video on memoirs of Wong family. One word: INCREDIBLE! It's really heart-warming to see all the 10 brothers with their children and grandchildren, gathering together at a place with one heart and purpose.

3rd day of CNY:

Went to mum's hometown in the morning. Finally, I get to meet my cute little nephew who comes all the way from Sabah...well actually he's my cousin's son. He's just so CUTE and ADORABLE. He's only two years old, but he can repeat after you whatever you'd said and taught him. Plus, he can converse in 3 languages, ie. English, Chinese, Bahasa Melayu. Not bad huh....I miss him loads now.....

It was also an eye-opener for me when I witnessed around 10 Indians climbing up an oily pole to grab the free gifts. It's hard to describe to you...but I wish I have a photo to show you what it's like.

The rest of the days of CNY:

Visiting, visiting, visiting...Lazy to type out all the names of the families I visited...Will put up the photos asap.

Liars!

2006-01-26T10:53:00.000+08:00

Sheena detests LIARS! Yes, I hate liars. They make me rage in anger and diminish my trust on them. Their credibility will be flown out of my windows and will head straight to the longkang! I'm saying this because I'm cheated and I know the closer you are to a person, the more vulnerable you are to her/him. Why? Why? Why? If I'm being cheated on small things, what about big things that may come my way? Or are already coming my way? Probably that person is already cheating you, and foolishly you still think that person is the most trusted person in the whole wide world. A self-fulfilled prophecy has just unveil before my eyes. I always tell myself not to trust anyone in this world becoz they are human beings, they can't be trusted. No matter how nice they appear to be, there are just boundaries that I'm not supposed to step into. I'll face the "oh-oh!" situations when I've trespassed those lines. True enough......

I've absolutely no mood or whatsoever today. I hardly got any sleep yesterday and I doubt I'll be able to catch any of it tonight. The thought of going to bed is the beginning of a nightmare. I just want to get out of this evil world which is full of liars! Now I know why God hates liars. Having idols in life other than God is cheating on Him. I comprehend that....

What Should You Major In?

2006-01-23T11:42:00.000+08:00

Your Scholastic Strength Is Evaluating

You are great at looking at many details and putting them all together.
You are talented at detecting subtle trends, accuracy, and managing change.

You should major in:

Statistics
Speech
Conflict studies
Communication
Finance
Medicine

What Should You Major In?

CNY?

2006-01-22T18:43:00.000+08:00

CNY is so near but yet my heart is so far away. I don't feel the joy of Chinese New Year at all. Probably I've missed it last year due to my Germany trip. So it was really not much of a big deal not being able to celebrate CNY. Yeah...probably I'm more grown up and the joy of CNY has been robbed away. Most of my cousins from my father's family are already wearing different hats by now. Some became daddy, mommy, and some are already attached. So practically they are no longer crazy and youthful like they used to be in previous years. I remember that we used to be so crazy during CNY, just sitting around yaking and popet-ing, playing cards, making all sorts of lame jokes. We hardly got any sleep and we would go out middle of the night looking for food in Taiping town. But NOW.......every once in a while when we try to sit around for a chat, the yelling and crying of the small children just turn me off. My cousins are no different with the modern day parents who pamper and spoil kids. I really have no comments except looking at my cousins' kids with anger and frustration when they talk to me with no respect or whatsoever. Sigh....I'm just being realistic and cynical about this year's CNY. It's going to be boring again this CNY in my dad's hometown. I hope things will be much more different in my mum's hometown where I get to leave my hair down a lil' and chit-chat with my lovely, beautiful Ah-yi(means mum's sisters), and of course their evergreen daughters. Trust me, they never grow old. They are still quite short and babyface though they are around my age.

Ok...till then...enjoy CNY everyone.

Finally I found you....

2006-01-21T01:17:00.000+08:00

Finally I found you....It's such a joy to find something that you've been searching for all this while. The feeling is beyond words....indescribable....People, just wanna share with you this song that I've been looking for. I know some of you may have already knew this song long time ago. I love the lyrics as they are so meaningful. I first sang it when I was in SCF Leadership Conference 2001. Yah, I know it's really a long time ago. So you can imagine the span of time I've been looking high and low for this. Feel so motivated and inspired. haha....I know we shan't go by feelings..But sometimes they are just so God-given's precious gifts to drive you in life...Well, some may not agree with me on that. But yah...by now you should realise/observe that I'm a person who feels more than think/do/imagine/etc more.

Ok...just want to acknowledge the person who passed this song to me..You know who you are...I'll never be able to repay you with a song which you've been looking for. Coz I know you are always faster than me in looking up new songs. So, save me the hassle yah.....muahahaha....

I'm a bit too lazy to put up the music of this song in the blog...But i'll find some time to do it soon....meanwhile...this is the song I've been talking about:

Give Us Clean Hands

(Words and Music by Charlie Hall)

We bow our hearts, we bend our knees

O Spirit come make us humble

We turn our eyes from evil things

O Lord we cast down our idols

Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts

Let us not lift our souls to another

Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts

Let us not lift our souls to another

O God let us be a generation that seeks

That seeks your face O God of Jacob

O God let us be a generation that seeks

That seeks your face O God of Jacob

Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts

Let us not lift our souls to another

Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts

Let us not lift our souls to another

Truth hurts

2006-01-19T16:23:00.000+08:00

Truth hurts...I know that long time ago...And I'm preparing for another 'truth-hurts' session. I'm so emo today because I'm left with so many days to face the truth. I'm preparing myself for this and I know I'm going to be stabbed with the deadly truth. No one knows what I'm talking about....Till then....

What a brand new year....

2006-01-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

What a brand new year to start with an accident? Well, ya...as much as I don't feel like blogging about it, I still need to write it down somewhere as it's so "historic". I don't wanna go into the details, but I'm just angry and frustrated that my car was banged by some irresponsible drivers in Malaysia. I really think the Transport Ministry or whatever related ministry will severely punish these reckless drivers. Yah, I know I sound so unforgiving and cruel towards the people who have done wrong to me. But exactly! Make them suffer their own consequences! My car's damage is quite bad and I feel so sad about it coz it's so brand new. And the cost of repairing....I don't even want to start thinking about it....I'm so moodless (if such a word exist)....just so tired about the whole thing and the worst thing is...I won't get to use my car for a few weeks. Sigh....feel so handicapped.

Another round of pictures....

2006-01-11T01:55:00.000+08:00

Argh...I'm so angry with the blogger. My photos don't seem to fit nicely in the template. Oh well...just bear with me. The following consists of photos from all sorts. Firstly, Siew Leang's wedding...which was like last year October(i know it's a bit outdated). Secondly, it'll be my gathering pictures I took with my PB1 leng luis. Enjoy....

Me in front of the church....No idea why this picture was taken.

(L-R): Kay Yi, Me, Esther and Grace

(L-R): Song Ai, Shen, Iris and me....lunch at Vietnam Kitchen...yummy....

Aww.......Don't we just look sweet? Yes, we've grown up a lot compared to the A-Levels' days. I'm not a girl, but not yet a woman. How about that huh?

Deng Deng Deng Deng (Beethoven's intro for 5th Symphony)....... One of the most beautiful pics four of us have ever taken together. Friends forever....

Pictures galore...

2006-01-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

Finally the pictures for watchnight are here. Not quite complete...but just a few of them. Enjoy...

*gan cheong gan cheong*....The performance is about to start in a few seconds' time. It's quite clear from their facial expression.

Posing after the dance...

Another round of posing....

Finally......the not-to-be-missed annual watchnight picture....

Sigh.....

2006-01-08T18:32:00.000+08:00

I don't particularly like it when I'm getting a wee bit too busy during my holidays. Holidays are supposed to be relaxing and all. I'm feeling that sort of stress building up again as I look at my timetable or "assignments" for the week ahead of me. Firstly, tomorrow's gonna be a meeting up with old friends. Well...some of you may be puzzled why I feel stressed about that. To explain....erm..probably it's just the stress of getting yourself to look good, fabulous and incredible in front of a bunch of people you've not met for a long time. I know I'm the kiasu type. You can't talk me out of that. Plus the fact that you don't wanna be embarassed in front of them by receiving remarks like: Oh...Have you put on a bit of weight recently?..... Wowo....wat happened to you? You look kind of old and "chan", is it caused by your work and studies? Sigh...I don't particularly like that sort of thing because it just erodes my self esteem. I've some kind of feeling that I won't be sleeping soundly tonight. All sorts of thoughts will be running in my mind, from dressing to the fear of don't-know-what-to-say situations. You know what I mean....Ok ok...come back to my timetable. After my gathering with old friends come the gathering of Christian youth workers in Rodney's place. It seems really uptight to me coz I'm just the introvert type who doesn't really like socializing so much with people whom I've not met before. It's kind of boring and exciting on the other hand. I mean you'll have all sorts of first-time-questions, such as: Oh,which church are you from? So what does your church have on Saturdays for youth meetings? La-di-la-da-da......

Then on Tuesday, supposedly a public holiday, I'm going to Kiara Hill at 6.45 in the morning. Yeah...you heard me right..It's 6.45 morning on a public holiday. Ok I'll admit that this is one of the highlight of the week. Don't know why...probably I just miss working out or something. Or rather the blunt fact that I don't need to go to work. Muahahaha....

*getting a lil' more freaky* On Wednesday, I might have to work before prayer meeting. And the "best" part is, I'm worship leading on that day. It cause lots of shivers and pangs of fear in me coz I'm just not well-versed in this area. Yea, I know....A lot of you may say that I've been involved in the worship ministry for goodness knows how many years. But the fact that scares me most is the pressure of choosing the right songs and saying the right things(prayers) during the worship session. I'm scared to death and I just pray that the good Lord will be gracious to me in helping and guiding me for this "assignment".

Oh yeah...I forgot that I also need to prepare the exam pieces for my students. I've to try out all the prescribed pieces and set the fingerings for them. Well, it also includes the interpretation and expression. That's pretty scary. I've been sitting for exams all the time and now this time around I'm preparing others to sit for the exams. I'm really pressured. Sometimes I don't know whether the fear comes from my perfectionist nature or what. On one hand, I want them to do well in the exams and on the other hand, I want them to take it in a relaxing manner by treating it as a life-time experience. But there are so many parts to the exam: Aural, sight-reading, scales, pieces.....How can I let them relax?

*blood pressure building up....* Then, the most most most freaky part of the weak is Saturday. Why Saturday? Oh...I just hate to think about it. I'm leading the youths in an interactive teaching cum discussion session. I'm seriously not prepared. I'm still praying about it and I really want God to lead me and guide me through this. I cannot teach others what I do not know personally. So this is the toughest assignment for the week and I'm having goose-bumps as I type this post now.

Stucked....

2006-01-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

People...just pray for me...I feel so stucked. I don't know how to start preparing it. It seems that nothing, nothing, nothing came out of my mind. Well, to elaborate...I'm actually preparing for a discussion/talk that's gonna be next Saturday. Can you imagine? Next Saturday, but I'm still blank! I'm just not fit to be doing these stuffs. I myself am clueless. Sigh.....

Vroom.....

2006-01-02T20:25:00.000+08:00

Vroom.......Year 2005 has passed so quickly before I even realised it. It has a lot of good and a lot of bad. I just could not imagine that my Germany experience is already coming to one year. During this time of the year in 2005, I was really freaking out and busy preparing for the audition in Germany. Things like winter clothings, train schedules in Germany, music scores and practices really drove me to the wall. The stress in itself was so overwhelming that I lost so much weight. And of course not forgetting my pink(or rather red)-pimplish face. I always have that when I'm undergoing stress. Sigh....I suddenly have a lot of these reminiscence because I saw a fax from Aunty Maureen(a really nice lady whom I put up with when I was in Germany) today. She said there was plenty of snow on New Year's Day in 2006. So the word snow is causing me to have all these recollections. The thought of the Germany experience really send shivers down my spine. I sometimes hate to think of it because it was this trip that has caused a lot of pains and hurts to me. But yet it was this trip that makes me grow. I really learn a lot during this trip. I won't say I hate Germany. But I would like to go back there for tour someday as I really cherish those nice things from the European countries. YES! I do miss the snow, Schwarzwald (Black Forest) in Freiburg, the train rides on ICE, Nadelkuesse (some egg-white thingy coated with chocolate), tea time in Germany, food, etc. and of course not forgetting the wonderful people I met in Germany. People like Aunty Maureen and Werner, Shuen Da and other competitors from all over the world. Especially Aunty Maureen and Werner, I'll never forget your kind deeds and the acts of kindness that you've poured out to my family. I miss Harxheim too. Harxheim is a small village in the suburb where Aunty Maureen stays. It is really what I always like and dream of. A small neighbourhood with country-styled houses which is neatly and beautifully maintained. It also has a small supermarket where folks of the village meet-up during their daily shopping. It is such a simple lifestyle these people live (well, at least the looks of it). Oh well...Uncle Nick is right, we need to close the year 2005 well and deal with the issues that need to be resolved. I guess some parts of this experience is still haunting me and I sometimes just push away these scary memories to the back of my mind as I'm too fearful to deal with them. I know it's over and I'm safe and sound in Malaysia. But I just couldn't picture myself dealing with all the logistics before, during and after the trip. I'll never visualise myself walking alone during a gloomy snowy day, conversing (or at least try to express myself) in German to book a hotel or train ticket, hopping to different towns which I've absolutely no idea of, reading maps, and last but not least the performance in front of world-class music professors. I just couldn't believe it that I did all that. I know it's nothing to a lot of you who are reading this blog. But it means a lot to me as I was really a pampered and dependent person before this trip. After the trip, I was working and studying till now. I am glad that the trip brought about changes which will benefit me for life. And it is also through this trip that I realise there are a lot of people out there who cares for me. For all of you who have supported me through prayers, fellowship, and just being there to hear me out, I want to truly express my gratitude. You know who you are. And it is also through this trip that I've drawn closer to some of my church friends. It was all of you who made God's presence and blessings evident to me. You guys are just so God-sent. I know God was carrying me in His arms through all these events. He was holding my hand all the way. I can only begin to see the big picture after this one year. I agree that when we are so caught up with a situation, we can't see God as we magnify our problems more than we magnify who our God is. And sometimes we are not able to see the full picture as we are standing too near the picture. We've gotta stand further to be able to view the magnificent piece of art. That's what I can conclude. I still might not understand some of the things which happened. But I'm beginning to see it. I hope God is guiding me on the right track. I don't want to have the 'what-if'' moments, in other words the regretting moments by making the wrong decisions.

Ok.....so much about my reflection on 2005. I was really busy with events and activities during the X'mas and New Year season. The hip-hop dance presentation turned out quite well. Too bad there is no proper recording of the whole presentation. It's one genre of music that I'm starting to like and I've discovered my long-unearthed desire....that is to learn dancing. I really love dancing and I hope I can do something about it. Well, if I have the $, I'll definitely invest my time in dance classes. Sigh...It's ok, we can't always have the best of both worlds. It's either dancing or music classes. I can't give up my violin yet coz I still have my exam to sit for.

Then, I also watched King Kong yesterday. I don't know how to describe my feelings about it. Felt a bit weird as a lot of people were touched by the romance between Ann and King Kong. The weird thing is I'm not really touched by that and I'll never imagine love between a human and an animal or at least a not-human-nor-animal thingy. Probably I'm just not a person who likes unrealistic stuff. I can be quite realistic when I wanna be though I used to be an idealist. I just hope that those scary scenes in the show won't appear in my dreams. Some parts of the movie are quite yucky and gross. Ah well, I shan't talk about it. Don't wanna comment nor spoil an A-rated movie.

I think I've blogged enough. Hope it doesn't bore you. Happy New Year once again...

Serendipity....

2005-12-30T10:17:00.000+08:00

ser·en·dip·i·ty (srn-dp-t) KEY
NOUN: pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties
1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery.

Yes....you got me right...Serendipity is my theme for the day/week. It's pleasant to discover something that you've been unintentionally looking for. The moment you found it is like : WOW! Yeah...I was really excited to have found something nice to wear for a wedding dinner. And I got it at a bargained price. Unexpectedly cheap from EIC. Then I also got some really cheap tops, skirts and flip-flops from yesterday's shopping trip. It wasn't supposed to be my shopping trip. Thanks to my brother. Somehow when he wants to get something from the mall, it'll become a family shopping trip. But if I wanna get something....oh...i've to go on my own to get it. Oh well, it has its pros and cons. Afterall, I've to pay for them even though it's a family thingy. But......things will be a lot different if it were charged to my dad's account. Haha...I will always be that daddy's girl.

Ok ok...I shall stop jabbering about shopping and clothes. See you again bloggie...this weekend's gonna be busy and crazily fun. I've my dance practice tonight. Then tomorrow will be spent in the church, including countdown in the midst of worship practice (those who are involved will know what I mean). There'll be loads of food and fun-filled presentations (including our hip-hop dance!). Then come Sunday....worship service followed by movie. And of course some shopping before the movie. ae;'orj;oauroduas;rggtyuoisa'oeir'pasoi (it's just my language of expressing excitement)......can't wait for it to come.....Happy new year everyone...

Holiday Binge!

2005-12-27T13:52:00.000+08:00

Isn't that what holidays is all about? Binging in fun, food and sleep? I'm feeling so darn guilty about this. It seems the jog yesterday was kind of redundant. We went for dim sum after that, which literally just forfeited the main purpose of going jogging. Sigh....You wanna know what I've been doing since my holidays? It will make those who are working or studying envy me tonnes. muahahaha....It may sound pretty mundane, but I enjoy it so far. Firstly, I get to wake up at the hour I desire (but not too late of course, if not I get spanking from parents!), followed by some sumptuous breakfast before heading to some reading. Then I may start with my practice (of course still need to do some work) and stuff. After which I'll try to find some fine music or interesting movie to listen/watch. (been enjoying a lot with the arrival of the long-awaited DVD player) haha....Then I'll have a satisfying nap, which may take up the half of the afternoon. haha....this is to recoup the lost of sleeping hours during the semester. Oh I went for some nice coffee and cake yesterday in DOME for tea. First time there, I know I'm kampung and sua-gu (if you understood that). Let's see, I had a cup of rich and smooth Affogato.hmm....yummy...*slurp*...really enjoy the nice blending of ice-cream with espresso. I also had peach cheesecake (Yeah, Jane you got me...cheesecake) Jane will surely envy me as I had the pleasure to enjoy her two favourite foods at one go, ie. ice cream and cheesecake. muahahaha....

Ok ok...come back to my holiday routine. When the night comes, it is my favourite time. Why...coz i get to watch my series-Desperate Housewives. It's like running a movie marathon. It's quite intriguing and addictive. So far I'm only through to the 7th episode of season 1. So it's really slow. I think i gotta run faster....

Back....

2005-12-24T10:24:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

How I miss you...the joy of pouring out my heart and soul to you can never be replaced by anything or anyone in this world.

Exams are finally over and there were good and bad throughout all the papers that I sat for. How did I do in the exam? Well, I would say I've done my very best, 101%, whether you believe it or not. But I don't think I can secure myself a scholarship for the 2nd year as the subjects taken this semester are not easy to score. Sigh....

Now...back to my holiday plans. The long unfulfilled desire to go shopping has finally been satisfied. Hurray! Went to MV yesterday. I couldn't believe that I was squeezing with others to do last minute shopping two days before Christmas. I got all the things I need in less than 2 and a half hours. Not bad huh....but now I'm broke. Hope I get my 2nd pay on Monday. Hehe.... I'm really happy with my new buys. I bought those stuffs from unexpected places, and not my usual shops. Oh well, as long as they look good on me, who cares about brands right? Thank God I'm not brand conscious. Probably it's due to the reason that I don't have enough $ to play branding. haha....

OK OK...come back to my holiday plans. I always get over-excited when I start talking about shopping. Girls girls...they always will be. Retail therapy is really effective on me. Anyway, I haven't really thought of what to do during the holidays. I thought of working, but it's only one month....work as what? Besides that, I'll be planning my course contents.....err...for those who do not know what I'm talking about...I'm actually training some youths in the church to play the piano. So I need to come out with a curriculum (sounds big hor) to properly train them. Just pray for me...

2ndly, I'll be watching the 1st season of Desperate Housewives. Ok..i know I'm really outdated. I'm honest..I've only watched two episodes of this much sought after TV series. That also not complete 2 episodes, as I couldn't really understand the complexity of the characters in the series. So I decided that I should start from the very beginning.

3rdly, I'll also be catching up with my reading. There are tonnes of things I wanna read.

4thly, it's the time of the year when everyone throw away old junks and rubbish. So that means I'll need to clear up cupboard. I realised I'm a sentimental person who keeps unused things. You guys will never believe me if I tell you I keep:

(a) all the receipts of my shopping items, and this dates back to when I was still Form 2. So you could imagine the pile of receipts I have. And some receipts have already turned yellow. Ranging from Yaohan(it's already non-existent) to MNG.

(b) I've receipts, surely I've the brands' tags. Erm....I just call those tags that come along with new clothes BRANDS' TAGS. I love them....I feel it's a waste to throw them away as they are so nice and cute (some of them). It also makes me feel good to see them as they makes me feel that I own so many clothes from different stores. haha...

(c) Actually there are a lot more things I keep. I wouldn't finish blogging if I were to list down everything. Haha...some are too secret to tell anyone.

Ok...I think I better go now. I'll blog some more when I feel like it....have a blessed Christmas everyone.

Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!

2005-12-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

What the ************! You complete the sentence for me...I just wanna shout out today that it's so darn UNFAIR!

Everyone's busy having fun, shopping, watching movies, lepaking and everything....But me? I'm stucked! Can't go anywhere..Why? because of the FINAL EXAMS! And another thing which adds to my frustration is the fact that I'm running out of $ already. Supposed to watch Narnia tomorrow, but seeing that I've to survive with that money for the rest of the two weeks, it's safer not to go anywhere but stay at home and make friends with my law books. To look at things on the brighter side, I'm actually killing two birds with one stone. No.1, save money. No.2, can stay home and study for exams. Heh? Not bad huh? My pessimism has improved a lil' bit. Yeah? Agree?

The exam today was so terrible. My hopes of getting good grades just flushed down the toilet again. I have no words to express already. It's not a good sign when the 1st paper you sit for didn't turn out to be good. It signifies a bad spell for the rest of the papers. I just hope that law and accounting paper will be better. I just wanna finish the questions on time.

What I wanna do now:

(a) play jazz on the piano

(b) do nothing!

(c) sit back and relax and unwind as i listen to jazz music

(d) hip-hop dancing

I'm not looking forward to the coming week. Firstly,I'm starting a new job near my place. The thought of it is enough to bring me shivers on my whole body. Secondly, it's gonna be a long day at work again on Tuesday. Thirdly, Law exam(what else,right?) I guess after Thursday night, I'll be more bubbly and cheerful.

OK...signing off now. I wanna try to sleep a while before my rendezvous with my .... you know what.....hey...are you thinking what I'm thinking? I hope you won't think senget...k?

Fa la la la la....

2005-12-08T18:39:00.000+08:00

Yes...tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la ,la-la-la-la ..... Silver bells, Silver bells, it's Christmas time in the city....

They can sing all they want, but i'm not feeling Christmas-sy. It's the Lord's birth and there is every reason to rejoice. But sad to speak, I'm not feeling a slight tinge of the season. Probably I'm swarmed with exams and datelines. I hope it's due to that and nothing else. I didn't have a good Christmas last year. Yeah, my church did a big production on Christmas and all. But I was hit by some crises and therefore my whole year end was miserable. I don't want to remember it and I hope I'll never have the same thing happening to me again. But I can foresee that it's going to be like that again next year end. There's this something that no one knows. It's a cycle thing in my life. One year it'll be good, one year it'll be exactly the opposite, which is terribly bad. So this year will be a bit better than last year, and next year the bad thing occur, and this spell or cycle just goes on and on, year in year out. I really wanna break the spell. I'm so sick of this. It's never nice when you have self-fulfilled prophecy. It's not a joy to know that you can predict the happening of things you know. Oh well....sometimes I wonder whether I think and worry too much or do I think too little.

I'm listening to a Christmas radio channel online now. The songs are really nice, jazzy and relaxed. It makes me feel as if I'm on some sort of vacation on the country roads or by the coastal roads in Australia looking over the beach. I miss holidays....i really do....I'm so sick staying in this urban lifestyle, having to comply to so many urban living 'rules'. Well, these rules are uptight if you would agree with me. Rules such as: having a fashionably-skinny body to fit into the day-by-day-getting-smaller sizes of women clothes. I'm sometimes very stressed out with those rules. I get very emo and have lower self esteem whenever I get out of the fitting rooms in the mall.....Oh well....there you go....i just said it....I've low self esteem...

Ok, gotta go now....merry christmas to everyone who's reading my blog.

Fat pics...

2005-12-01T22:09:00.000+08:00

Finally the pictures are uploaded...and these are all fat pictures of mine....look so bloated and bengkak...

Oh by the way, these pictures are taken in Penang..

Me on the way up to Penang Hill

Dad and I posing in the train that was once used to go up to Penang Hill

That's all for now. I didn't take many pictures when I was up there. *sob sob* Nvm...there's always 'next time's

I'm almost there......

2005-12-01T18:45:00.000+08:00

I'm almost there already........Just a little bit, Sheena....Why can't you just persevere? You just wrote in your last blog that you don't wanna fight it already. Why? Why are you so stubborn? Argh!!

Anyway, that's the shout out for today. No one will ever understand what I'm fighting. Don't ever try to guess, k?

Ok...on next issue.....

I'm really frustrated now. Just feel very stucked when I really need the $ to do shopping. I know it's God's blessing already. But I just can't wait any longer before I get the $ on hand to buy my necessary survival tool kit. Ok....this survival tool kit consists of things which you've never imagined....haha....

As I've explained earlier, my shopping list is getting longer and longer if the $ still doesn't come. I don't want to squeeze and push with others, fighting for X'mas presents during the very last minute mega sale. You know what I mean? Sigh.....I think you also don't know what I mean.....

Tonight is gonna be a boring and super long night. I've to attend some function and it is just for formality purposes. I hate to socialise and put up a fake smile and lingo when I talk to people I don't know. That's exactly what I'm gonna do in an hour's time. Oh well....I've no choice and probably it just goes to prove that I'm not an extrovert after all. I prefer to stay by myself or at least just talk on the phone....wohoo...It's been a long time since I last talked on the phone. Yeah...quite long...for some weeks now. Gone are the days where I used to run to the phone when it rings at night. Nowadays no one bothers to answer the phone call as we know it's brother's call. And goodness only knows why he has so much to yak on the phone.

Super bored-ness

2005-11-24T14:18:00.000+08:00

I'm in college now having Economics lecture. It's so darn boring until I can even start to blog here. He is teaching us how to draw charts, histograms, blah blh blah...which I've already learnt last semester. I'm not trying to boast or anything here, but just lamenting that I'm learning it all over again. I hope the exam will be as easy as what I'm learning. I wish lah.

I'm craving for my fair share of shopping right now. Everyone's on holiday and going shopping now. Argh....WAIT FOR ME! My shopping list is getting longer and longer if I still don't get a chance to go shopping in the near future. My sandals just kaputted and I am in great need of one. So now I go to college in my flip-flops, which are comfortable on one hand, but on the other hand it looks shabby.(not sure how to spell it)

I've come to a point where I don't care anymore. Just so busy with assignments now and I just want it to be done as soon as possible. I've so much research to do and it seems that the more I read, the more I'm getting confused.

I'm so tired of fighting you. You know, it's like never ending. People who are reading this blog will not understand what i'm talking about and what I'm fighting . Don't ask me what it is. I can't really explain.

Screaming in pain.....

2005-11-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

My muscles are screaming in pain in there. Even small little moves I make, eg. walking, bending, sitting on the toilet seat are enough to make me scream. The pain is so excruciating that I cannot tahan. All these pain could be attributed to my extraordinary sporty day yesterday. Well, can you imagine I actually woke up early to go jogging in the park? Then in the afternoon I proceed to my dance practice (by the way, it lasted 2 and a half hours). After that I had some indoor games in church. WAH........I really don't know how I really lasted. I just hope that the pain will be very much reduced by tomorrow.

It's proven that Sheena Wong :

(i) is a slow learner.

(ii) is a kia-su person.

(iii) is very much concerned about what others think about her

(iv) will go all out to meet the requirements of the world ( I know it's bad, as the bible says in Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world.....)

Yahoo! Super-awesomeness...

2005-11-14T15:35:00.000+08:00

I know the title is not proper English. But I really feel a bit more liberated right now. The reason: I've passed up my accounting assignment! It's been a crazy week. So many things happened and I couldn't begin to describe the sequence of events. I've survived on less than 4 hours of sleep a day on average. Craziness as I've assignments dateline. I think it's all because of the group assignment that really took a lot out of me. I tried to be as patient as possible with my team members but somehow I think I've not learned how to work in a harmonious way with them. Some of them just don't reach my expectations. I know my expectations are high due to my perfectionist nature. But I was quite gracious at times to grant them leeway so that it'll be fair to them as well. And you know what I did? I just took a deep breath and offered to do 85% of the assignment. Honestly, I don't mind sacrificing my sleep and everything to ensure that the assignment is ok. I mean I really don't want to let go and regret later. I could be wrong in my assignment, but at least I know I've done my best.

Ok ok...so much about team work. Not gonna talk about that for some time now.

I feel so blessed as I got a phone call from my cousin in Sabah today. It's a pleasant surprise as she really called me up just to ensure whether I'm alright.. Thank you so much...You really made my day and you are so God-sent. Thanks for all the encouragements. I truly appreciate it.

God is good all the time...

2005-11-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

I just want to shout out: God is good all the time. I hope I'm able to say this in all circumstances in life. Sometimes it's so hard to testify that He is indeed good ALL the time. It seems that when bad things happen, I tend to shun away from the One above. Forgive me, O Lord for sinning against You. Today the Lord has just did it again, as in doing a miracle. When I woke up in the morning, the first thing i did was praying to God that He'll hold the rain and grant us clear weather, so that the youths can play captain ball in the evening. Then the sky was overcast with dark clouds by 11 am. I was so worried and I said : Why la? When i need a sunny day, it'll rain. By 12.15 am, the heavy clouds still seem so stubborn that it refused to move and it really looks like it's gonna pour down like cats and dogs. And in my heart this song started resounding: LET IT RAIN...LET IT RAIN....OPEN THE FLOODGATES OF HEAVEN...LET IT RAIN. Then i began to pray in my heart that God will really grant us clear weather. So I kind of just put away those scary thoughts when I went for dance practice. When I came out of Summit, I witness the miracle. The sky was so clear and it's so sunny that I feel a lil' too hot. The youths had a fun time together snatching and passing the ball. It even went a bit rough when some of them pushed and squeezed one another just for the sake of winning. It shows we do have a competitive spirit. BBK youths, rock on!

Running out....

2005-11-10T16:32:00.000+08:00

At the moment, I'm running out of:

-time

-tears

-cash

-patience

-love

...

.....

........the list goes on and on.......

It has been a pretty bad week so far. Things seem like crashing down on me and I desperately need a break. But it seems i'm not going to have one anytime soon. I've to press on and move on with life recognising the fact that life is indeed full of ups and downs. I know that everything happened for a purpose. God, please wipe away my tears and help me to redirect my focus in You. Yes, indeed it's because of You that i can face tomorrow and yes, it's because of You that i'm able to say that there is every reason for me to rejoice in the day that You've made. Lord, help me to get up again and move on. I know that You'll grant me the grace to carry me through this period of time. For I know all things are possible in You. You and You alone.

I want to thank you Jane for walking me through these stormy nights. Thank you for all your concern through the phone calls and sms. I truly appreciate it. You are indeed God sent. May you continue to grow in Him and pass on God's blessings to others. Keep up that pastoral heart of yours.

I've Got The Joy

2005-11-06T17:11:00.000+08:00

Since I came back from the Penang trip, I've been having loads of problems with my stomach. I think I've eaten too much trash up there in the north. I can't load the pics yet as I still haven't figure out how to use my brother's camera. Argh.....so frustrating. Never mind, I shall be patient. It's been an eventful week that I've gone through. It includes a great deal of laughter, tears, anger, disappointment and even sweet moments as well. Let me just jot down some of the things I did. Hmmm....shopping, watching movies, sports, spending time with friends and of course my new found joy, ie. dancing. wakaka....I've been so in a dance mood after the practice in ACTS church. There's so much life and fun in dancing. It's a lot like performing a great piece of music. I'm still in touch with my artistic side though I've been so sick of my law and management accounting assignment. I've not even finished my assignment though I vowed to myself before the holidays to finish it by yesterday. It is all because of one word: procrastination. I can't wait for December when I can finally be done with all my exams and assignments and enjoy my holidays while getting myself busy again with the yearly rituals, such as X'mas and Watchnight preparation. Oh well, I can't wait for this week to be over too. At least I can submit my law assignment and I can concertrate on the other two. It's frustrating sometimes that you feel so helpless, can't change the circumstances around you and you are stucked with the consequences of bad choices. Tough tough tough....I try not to be so pessimistic yet, so I wanna share this beautiful song with you which always give me a reason to smile again...

I'VE GOT THE JOY
I'VE GOT THE PEACE OF MIND
I'VE GOT THE FAITH IN THE HOLY GHOST
WHICH FILLS ME EVERYDAY
I'VE GOT THE LIFE
I'VE GOT THE MELODY
I'VE GOT THE WORD
THE WORD OF GOD
THAT SETS ME FREE

argh!!!

2005-11-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

I never seemed to get out of it, do I? Soon after I managed to recover from one, another one cropped up again. And the worst thing is I'm taking it all out on the people around me who cares the upmost for me. I know the Bible verse well enough: Rejoice in this day that the Lord hath made......but it seems it serves only as a head knowledge and it has not transformed and take its place in my heart. I'm angry with myself and I don't want to blame it on any hormonal change and all those nonsense. Afterall, I'm not reaching my menopause anytime soon yet, right? It's frustrating to see yourself get into a mess and trying to get the heck out of it. Nothing seems to help and I feel that it's not gonna end. I really hope that the sun will shine again. God please help me. I don't want to become abnormal. You've absolutely no idea what I'm ranting about, nor have I any.

As I type this blog, I'm listening to Patrick Leong's 'Through The Rain'. I suddenly feel so blessed and there's hope above. I will never fully comprehend what those who are suffering are experiencing, especially those who are suffering from physical pains and hurts. In a way, they are definitely affected emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Compared to what I'm facing now, my case is only peanuts. I don't know how to respond to all the unfortunate things which happened onto the people I know these few weeks. I suddenly realise that we human are so fragile and helpless. It's only by God's grace that we are living here on earth. So many times we try to be great and everything, but it all resolves to dust or nothing when we are hit with disasters, tragedies and calamities. So, how? I've to face every present day as a gift from God and live it to the fullest and appreciate the people around me. I love you! Yes, I mean you! You! You! You! I may not say it to you when I see you, but you know that, don't you? Well in case you don't know, now you know lor. haha....

CrAzY THoUgHtS!

2005-10-21T17:22:00.000+08:00

Here are some crazy thoughts which caught my attention, perhaps it will tickle your brains too!

1) Do they put underwear on corpses?
2) Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies?
3) How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
4) Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
5) Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
6) If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
7) If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
8) Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
9) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
10) Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?

Haha...I know some of them are pretty lame but sometimes I think it's still acceptable to laugh at them.

Frustration!

2005-10-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

Frustration to me is just a feeling of absolute BLEHness, now if you wonder or know what does BLEH means.

Sheena is frustrated when:
-she's fat
-she doesn't get to eat the food she likes
-she can't wear the clothes which are calling out to her desperately from the wardrobe
-she can't understand what the crap the law lecturer is teaching
-she doesn't know how to start her assignments
-she has to wait for half and hour or more at the photostat shop just to photostat the 15 pages of law notes
-she needs to do group assignments

Birthday bash!

2005-10-13T20:53:00.000+08:00

Left: Jules, Me and Cynthia

Birthday Bash! It was Jules' birthday on Monday. We were a bit crazy coz we coordinate our clothings on that very special day. Our colour for the day was......*drum roll*......GREEN!very environment friendly yah..haha.We actually bought the top together in Body Glove.Thanks Jules for your birthday cake and those cute red birthday eggs. I'm sure you'd be blessed.....

Detached?

2005-10-12T17:40:00.000+08:00

I'm so detached to all my friends nowadays. I don't know why, but I'm beginning to be cynical about so many things, people and situations. I know these are all becoz I'm thinking too much critically. Sometimes I just want to be alone so desperately, rather than being in a noisy gang which makes me sick! In the solitude.....I can..............Oh! Sheena...you should really stop all these nonsense. Perhaps it's also becoz of the stress level that's contributing to all these. At least I believe...

I'm so lazy to start my assignments as I don't know where to start. God please help me. I don't want to do last minute work again like the previous semester albeit I managed to clinched on to a First Class. Planning was never really me. And that's the result of not getting into Germany. Talking about Germany, I don't know whether is it really all planned up by God for His purposes. I know it is, DUH! I mean i could seriously imagine my parents struggling to finance my studies if I were over there. We are on shaky grounds since the recession creeps in and my family and I are saving $ and be thrifty when it comes to shopping for grocery and etc. I really hope the good Lord will prosper my dad's business. I also hope that I'll have more income from my music students. I should really consider teaching privately at home, which will enable me to plough in more money. Now I really thank God for the gifts of music.

Ok...gotta get back to my violin practice. Will update soon. Hopefully I won't be so emo anymore.

I'M LOST!

2005-10-07T00:37:00.000+08:00

No need to even watch the reality series 'LOST', I can already clearly define the meaning of being lost! I'm so confused of my state of being right now. I'm slacking in my college work and I don't seem to be motivated by anything, be it my good results(thank God for that), by success stories (recently I've been hearing heaps of it) and etc. Argh....Just feel like stabbing myself to death. I want to move on and get out of this you know....Just doesn't seem to go anywhere.

I've been thinking a lot these days about my career after I graduate. Blame it on those professional talks and some questions posed to me by my juniors. I'm dumbfounded when I was approached with those kind of 'future' questions. Sometimes I practise escapism to get rid of those frustrating thoughts. I mean on one hand, I feel that I can't just leave my violin students behind, afterall I've "brought them up" musically so to speak. I want to at least walk through Grade 8 with them, and teach them all the techniques that I've learnt so far. But on the other hand, I want to explore the commercial world as well. Though I've heard enough testimonies to indicate to me that accounting is not a desired career for a long term due to stress and long hours of work, I still have this desire to go out there to try to at least get a feel of things. I mean how interesting is it to be a financial controller of a company eh? I mean it'll definitely plough in good bucks for me and I'll get to wear those powersuits and makeups to work. But I was also questioning myself whether I would get sick of those lifestyle.aiks...

I've also came to realise that blogging doesn't really help me to express myself and jotting down the events in my life. Coz sometimes I'm so paranoid and afraid that whatever I write may be hurting someone, or causing misunderstanding among my peers, my family, and everyone else who reads my blog. The worse thing is when your family members actually read your blog. Oh no....So I think some things I still prefer to keep it to 3 persons in my life only, that is ME, MYSELF AND I. How about that huh....

I'm BACK!

2005-09-23T18:03:00.000+08:00

I'm back! You know....BACK? haha...I know I've been MIA for some time now. I really didn't feel like blogging for the past few weeks. Not lazy, but just didn't want to. Perhaps i need some motivation? sigh....

Nothing much happened these past few weeks...Feel like my life is going on a roller coaster ride. Feel so emo and temperamental this few weeks. As college has started, it took me a while before I could fully adapt to the study life, which means sleeping late and getting up early. There are a lot of things calling for me right now as I type my blog. My law books, econs and management accounting(which is so boring!). Ish!I don't quite like management accounting, as it is so boring and it goes on and on and on talking about cost, cost, cost......

Went for violin class today and it really strucked me that I've been a lazy person refusing to practise. I've to face the reality of failing my exams if I still won't buck up and start practising. It was pretty emo in class as I was just thinking and pondering upon what all these things will end up eventually. I mean, I really don't know where this practice and exams will take me and I feel like throwing in the towel as I just don't see an end to it! It's just a drag and I'm just not motivated to practise at all. All the bad comments coming out from my teacher's mouth were also not elevating the whole condition. I have came to realised that I've chosen the wrong instrument and now I really miss my piano lessons and it hurts me deeply when I can't play the difficult pieces. It's like everyone knows you've a diploma in piano, but when you're asked to play, it just sound so terrible. Argh....these are the things that are causing much stress to me and my fluctuating emo curve.

Sigh....Why Why Why?

2005-09-06T12:43:00.000+08:00

Today is my first day in college for my 2nd semester. And I ask God: why why why? Why must it be today? It didn't happen by coincidence, right? I'm sure You, my God who is almighty and in control of all things planned it. For those of you who are scratching your heads, wondering what I am lamenting, I'm actually talking about this morning's nice and cold weather, which was perfectly conducive to sleep in. It was around 5 am in the morning and I suddenly heard the strong breeze which caused the trees in my garden to sway....I know I couldn't be wrong, and true enough, it started to rain. Deep down in my heart, I was actually wanting to curse and everything, but then I was reminded once again to be thankful to God for everything that He has created. sigh...So I could not sleep after that, as I was so worried that it's gonna rain like cats and dogs. That means I can't enjoy free parking outside the college and I'll have to fork out > than RM3 just for that 2 hours' class. So I started praying and asking God to stop the rain as soon as possible. And guess what, God really did heard my prayer. The rain stopped by the time I was getting ready for college. Thank God for being so gracious to me!

College was usual, except for the Econs Department's management, which never improve its service despite rounds of performance survey tests done by the students. Apparently there was some confusion and miscommunication between the lecturers and management. Around 25 of us were waiting for the lecturer in another class when in actual fact the rest of the students were already having class in another venue. It was really puzzling how the management could end up doing something like this. Oh well....it's gonna be difficult this semester as I'm having Business Law, which is hard to score. Dummie like me never really know how to argue...

I did a jealousy test yesterday. Pretty cool, but my results are pretty depressing. The results are as below:

You are 50.79% jealous!For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.
221144 people have taken this test to date.
This percentage means that :
•You exhibit many jealous traits.
•You are prone to over-react.
•Although your jealousy shouldn't prove to be a real problem, you should work on controlling it more.
•Things aren't often as bad as you think.

Looks like the test results ain't very positive, huh.... Gotta work on it...

Can I Turn Back Time?

2005-09-04T19:23:00.000+08:00

Can I turn back time? Sigh....holidays have just ended and I'm feeling so depressed and blue. Let me recap what I've done during these two weeks. Hmm.....*thinking really hard*, *still thinking*...

Err...I think i seriously didn't do much during these holidays. Yes, I slept a lot. And I know I'm gonna miss my bed and pillow and comforter during those rainy afternoons..You know what I mean? And not forgetting the wonderful cloudy morning which is often accompanied by rain and drizzles. *sob sob* no more sleeping in anymore. What's next, oh I think I went out for some concerts, had some nice yaking time during mamak, shopping and catching up with old friends. And of course last but not least, MSN-ing. I wanna say thank you to all my MSN pals who have been so nice and sweet for staying up late to chat with me. You guys rock!

Today is a typical Sunday again. With the exception of VCD watching in the afternoon. hehe...

Oh....a lot of people commented on my dressing this morning. At first it was quite nice getting all the undeserved attention and compliments. But then later one of my church friend said something which really get me thinking and thinking....she said something like: you look very virgin today..I was a bit dumbfounded when I heard that statement. Unfortunately later I didn't get to talk much about that with her. You mean all this while I didn't look like a virgin or what? My dressing is normally atrocious, boyish, wild or what? Or worst case scenario, dressing like an Ah-Sam. *LOL* But then later I thought to myself, probably what she was trying to say is: I look very feminine today..Oh well, I hope I did not interpret it the wrong way....Still quite happy with my dressing today. Both the top and the skirt are bought from Australia two years ago when I was there visiting my brother. Hehe...

I'm so stressed out!!!

2005-09-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

I'm so stressed out! Ish....Not looking forward to Monday as 2nd semester is starting and that marks the end of my holidays! And that also signifies the start of headaches and loads of stress. I'm gonna have group assignments and that's the thing I detest the most! Blame it on my perfectionist nature that always seek for perfection and usually means I end up doing most of the things in a group work. And that's so frustrating you know....I mean as much as I want to choose to be in a "good" group ...I feel that I'm so selfish and have no team spirit at all! And that's precisely what the world's employers are seeking for! How sad... Yea..you who are reading this will figure out that I like to work on my own. I mean I enjoy group work if my group members are also as competitive and kia-su as me!

Oh well....I shan't dwell on this issue anymore. I've to learn how to work along with others and be more humble. For the Bible says in Ephesians 4:2,Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. This shall be my prayer for goodness knows..how long...

And on top of that, I'm utterly broke again....I've not received my salary for the month of August and I really hope that I'll get it this Tuesday.Argh!

God please bless me....

Retail Therapy is good for me.....

2005-09-01T20:01:00.000+08:00

Hehe.....Retail therapy is good for me....Holidays ain't complete without shopping! Yeah...Went out with a friend today and supposedly going for a warehouse sale. But it was quite disappointing, really. So we proceeded to a boutique nearby. And we saw some really nice clothes. Our eyes suddenly opened wide and our spirits were lifted up from the drousy mood due to the hot sun. We were busy trying clothes and stuffs...really fun...it was a long time since i stepped into a fitting room. The feeling of looking at yourself in front of a mirror in a fitting room was really exciting. Then finally due to some financial reasons, I've to apply the opportunity cost principle. Sigh.....So I only choosed one of the clothings out of three. oh well..at least i got something. Still quite happy and satisfied with my new buys.

Isn't it amazing?

2005-08-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

You're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
Touches my foolish heart.

Yes you're lovely, never, ever change
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?'
Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fears apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
Touches my foolish heart.

Yes you're lovely, never, ever change
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it?
'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight.
Just the way you look tonight.
Darling
Just the way you look tonight.

I'm so in love with this song as it touches my heart and it's so sweet and romantic. As I reflect upon the song, it just amazes me how one's laughter, smile and looks can just capture a person's heart so simply. Just that one laugh that wrinkles his nose is able to touch a foolish heart.sigh...

Nothing much to blog about today....Went to watch Charlie Dan Kilang Chokolat(just sounds funny when it's translated to BM) in GSC 1 Utama.It's a new cinema with a futuristic look, more comfortable chairs....must go back there one day. It was a good show, no doubt...though feel that Willy Wonka's facial expressions and all look a bit scary. I wish those marvelous creations of Willy Wonka's are real. I mean I seriously don't mind getting fat if I get to try those ice cream which will never melt.....and those chewing gums which change flavours, from Beef to blueberry cake...not bad huh.

Got to go now....shall blog more tomorrow...looking forward to a great Sunday tomorrow. Pastor is worship leading and I'm meeting a friend for lunch...How nice yah...though didn't do much shopping during this holidays but at least i get to connect and meet up with old old friends...And not forgetting those hours i spent on MSN chatting with my dear friends. I'm gonna miss all these once the crazy 2nd semester starts....

Nite nite...Oh just received a cute sms:
Want to wish u goodnite but then
Stars not free
Bears not free
Pigs not free (still haven't figure out why pigs come into the scene)
Angels not free
Ghost can?Wooo..............
-Nite!

LOL~

God provides...

2005-08-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

Time : 9:58 am
Mood : miss my bed, comforter and pillow...

I'm so blur and tired now. All because of yesterday. haha...I was chatting with a friend till the wee hours of the morning. But it was time well spent. We described ourselves as crazy and siao people who will chat during that hour of the day. It was really cute and funny now that I rekindled all the stuffs we typed in that small little chat box. At one time we even played around with web cam so that we can see one another and compare who has puffier eyes.haha....and we also had some sort of audio conversation. Below are some traces of it:

J: Hello? Hello?
Me: Eh I can hear your radio lar..not your voice
J:Can hear me?
........................................

It's 11:20pm now...I shall continue with my blog for today. Remember I told ya about the concert yesterday? I just got back and thank God for His abundant blessings...He actually sent someone to sponsor my ticket for the concert. Some of you may know I'm utterly broke till I've to spend the very last cent in my purse. But God provides...He always does...And Hui Chi and family paid for the tickets. Thanks Hui Chi...You are such a wonderful friend indeed.
Now, about the concert....It was really great seeing all the talented violinists and pianists showing off their skills tonight. I suddenly feel really degraded and low. I mean there actually are violinists in Malaysia that are so superb and talented.They've only two years of music education and man...they are already playing the music pieces I'm playing right now. Sheena Wong...shame on you... On the other hand, it gave me more motivation to practise more so that I can surpass their talents as soon as possible ( the kiasu spirit is springing up ).
Besides, I also saw some really cute pianists who are so small in stature but yet the sound that they produced is comparable to that of a matured adult. Thank God for all the wonderful talents He has produced in Malaysia.
Oh yah..My friend also performed well...Fooyoo...you guys should see the way he plays. So strong and powerful. Too bad I did not bring my camera with me. If not you guys can have a glimpse of his playing. Nevermind, he will be seen in public very soon. He's the up and coming star of Malaysian young concert pianist.
Ok...so much for today..It's raining outside. So nice to just hide under my comforter and zzz....nitez...

The 1st Time...Den Ersten

2005-08-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

For the first time........I've a public diary so to speak. And it took me so so so long to set up the blog. As you know...an IT illiterate like me, who know nuts about computer have to take double amount of time as compared to the usual ones to set it up. But thanks to Jane Loke...who kindly explains terms like HTML and stuffs to me..It quickens the process a little bit.

So...still left with one more hour before the 5th day of my holidays begins, I shall recap what I've wasted my time on today. Hmm...basically nothing much. Now I've just realized that I've spent almost half a day fiddling with computers. Well, basically just browsing through some webpages for free online games since I've the advantage of broadband. So I played some word game just to comfort myself that at least I'm keeping my brain working during the holidays. It was fun really, learning new words while playing Boggle online.hehe...
Then I went on to practise my violin. I was quite lazy today so i only spent around 1 hour plus on it. Sigh...lazy Sheena...you should try harder the next time around.

Ok...i think that's all for today. I should learn how to use the blogger's vocabulary and jargons. My blog just sounds too formal and boring to read. Looking forward to tomorrow....yeepee...going for a classical concert...and I have not been to one for ages. And my dear friend is in action in the concert. Anyway..just go there and support him (even though I know he doesn't need any of it). haha...will tell you more about the concert tomorrow ok?

Going to bed now.....zzzzz....

me me me..at 11:30pm..look at those puffy eyes of mine..