Sigh.....

I don't particularly like it when I'm getting a wee bit too busy during my holidays. Holidays are supposed to be relaxing and all. I'm feeling that sort of stress building up again as I look at my timetable or "assignments" for the week ahead of me. Firstly, tomorrow's gonna be a meeting up with old friends. Well...some of you may be puzzled why I feel stressed about that. To explain....erm..probably it's just the stress of getting yourself to look good, fabulous and incredible in front of a bunch of people you've not met for a long time. I know I'm the kiasu type. You can't talk me out of that. Plus the fact that you don't wanna be embarassed in front of them by receiving remarks like: Oh...Have you put on a bit of weight recently?..... Wowo....wat happened to you? You look kind of old and "chan", is it caused by your work and studies? Sigh...I don't particularly like that sort of thing because it just erodes my self esteem. I've some kind of feeling that I won't be sleeping soundly tonight. All sorts of thoughts will be running in my mind, from dressing to the fear of don't-know-what-to-say situations. You know what I mean....Ok ok...come back to my timetable. After my gathering with old friends come the gathering of Christian youth workers in Rodney's place. It seems really uptight to me coz I'm just the introvert type who doesn't really like socializing so much with people whom I've not met before. It's kind of boring and exciting on the other hand. I mean you'll have all sorts of first-time-questions, such as: Oh,which church are you from? So what does your church have on Saturdays for youth meetings? La-di-la-da-da......

Then on Tuesday, supposedly a public holiday, I'm going to Kiara Hill at 6.45 in the morning. Yeah...you heard me right..It's 6.45 morning on a public holiday. Ok I'll admit that this is one of the highlight of the week. Don't know why...probably I just miss working out or something. Or rather the blunt fact that I don't need to go to work. Muahahaha....

*getting a lil' more freaky* On Wednesday, I might have to work before prayer meeting. And the "best" part is, I'm worship leading on that day. It cause lots of shivers and pangs of fear in me coz I'm just not well-versed in this area. Yea, I know....A lot of you may say that I've been involved in the worship ministry for goodness knows how many years. But the fact that scares me most is the pressure of choosing the right songs and saying the right things(prayers) during the worship session. I'm scared to death and I just pray that the good Lord will be gracious to me in helping and guiding me for this "assignment".

Oh yeah...I forgot that I also need to prepare the exam pieces for my students. I've to try out all the prescribed pieces and set the fingerings for them. Well, it also includes the interpretation and expression. That's pretty scary. I've been sitting for exams all the time and now this time around I'm preparing others to sit for the exams. I'm really pressured. Sometimes I don't know whether the fear comes from my perfectionist nature or what. On one hand, I want them to do well in the exams and on the other hand, I want them to take it in a relaxing manner by treating it as a life-time experience. But there are so many parts to the exam: Aural, sight-reading, scales, pieces.....How can I let them relax?

*blood pressure building up....* Then, the most most most freaky part of the weak is Saturday. Why Saturday? Oh...I just hate to think about it. I'm leading the youths in an interactive teaching cum discussion session. I'm seriously not prepared. I'm still praying about it and I really want God to lead me and guide me through this. I cannot teach others what I do not know personally. So this is the toughest assignment for the week and I'm having goose-bumps as I type this post now.