I'M LOST!

No need to even watch the reality series 'LOST', I can already clearly define the meaning of being lost! I'm so confused of my state of being right now. I'm slacking in my college work and I don't seem to be motivated by anything, be it my good results(thank God for that), by success stories (recently I've been hearing heaps of it) and etc. Argh....Just feel like stabbing myself to death. I want to move on and get out of this you know....Just doesn't seem to go anywhere.

I've been thinking a lot these days about my career after I graduate. Blame it on those professional talks and some questions posed to me by my juniors. I'm dumbfounded when I was approached with those kind of 'future' questions. Sometimes I practise escapism to get rid of those frustrating thoughts. I mean on one hand, I feel that I can't just leave my violin students behind, afterall I've "brought them up" musically so to speak. I want to at least walk through Grade 8 with them, and teach them all the techniques that I've learnt so far. But on the other hand, I want to explore the commercial world as well. Though I've heard enough testimonies to indicate to me that accounting is not a desired career for a long term due to stress and long hours of work, I still have this desire to go out there to try to at least get a feel of things. I mean how interesting is it to be a financial controller of a company eh? I mean it'll definitely plough in good bucks for me and I'll get to wear those powersuits and makeups to work. But I was also questioning myself whether I would get sick of those lifestyle.aiks...

I've also came to realise that blogging doesn't really help me to express myself and jotting down the events in my life. Coz sometimes I'm so paranoid and afraid that whatever I write may be hurting someone, or causing misunderstanding among my peers, my family, and everyone else who reads my blog. The worse thing is when your family members actually read your blog. Oh no....So I think some things I still prefer to keep it to 3 persons in my life only, that is ME, MYSELF AND I. How about that huh....